Having a spouse with a pornography addiction can be devastating. Here are some ways to get through it.Some time ago, in a conversation with my cousin Emily (names have been changed), I mentioned I was under a lot of stress. She said, “I know what you’re going through.”I thought she was referring to the normal busyness that accompanies the lives of a young family, so I clarified by explaining that my husband was working through some problems. Then Emily said, “I understand what you are going Read More.
We run a private forum for women who are personally affected by the pornography/sex addiction of a spouse, boyfriend, or loved one. The forum, like this blog, represents the seeds of a cooperative effort of non-profit leaders, professional therapists, individual women in recovery wanting to help, and website managers who have seen a need for support for wives, ex-wives, and partners of porn addicts. Come talk with other women who are walking this path, and see what has helped them find hope and Read More.
Fairly often someone calls me at home or at work and tells me their marriage is in trouble. They ask if they can come see me. I explain that I am a professor of family life but not a therapist. That almost never deters them.They—usually a couple but sometimes one partner—set an appointment to come to see me. They are always in deep pain. I often do something they don’t expect. They come prepared to process a litany of complaints and a load of discouragement. They often expect me to be able to Read More.
Closing Your Mental WindowsOne of the most important parts of transitioning into lovemaking is developing the mental discipline to close down the many mental windows open in a woman’s mind. A woman must be able to “turn off,” in order to be able to “turn on!” My friend and colleague, Mark Gungor, comedian and popular speaker on marriage, talks about how men’s brains are more like individual boxes (that don’t like to touch), whereas women’s brains are more like an interconnected web of wires with Read More.
Recently a woman who was asking for my advice said, “My 10-year-old son, Benjamin, will not do what I say. I know he hears me but he just ignores me when I talk to him. How can I get him to listen to me? I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but it’s like his heart is hard or something. He doesn’t seem to care about helping out or listening to me at all.”When this woman shared her frustration with me, I knew exactly what it felt like to feel ignored by a child. When my oldest daughter was three Read More.